Autheniticy: the freedom to be yourself

I recently read a post on the 10 Characteristics of Authentic People. Author, Jennifer Ryan, M.Ed lists the top 5 characteristics:
1. Authentic People Live in the Present
2. Authentic People are Free of Fear
3. Authentic People are Not Judgmental
4.  Authentic People Genuinely Appreciate Themselves
5.  Authentic People Hunger for the Truth

It completely got me thinking about being authentic. I wonder how many times in our lives, we stop being authentic to ourselves because we feel an eternal obligation.

Completely ignoring number one, the first thought in my mind was Christmas season 2001. I was living overseas, but made arrangements to visit my family for the first time in 2 years. Simultaneously the man I was involved with, invited me to visit California with his family. He volunteered to go home with me, but after silent deliberation I asked him not to come. I wanted that time, to be owned by me. It was agreed I would meet him in California later. He called me a week early and asked me to join him earlier. I declined.

In that situation, I was completely authentic. I lived my life according to my timeline, and if our two lives intersected, then so be it. It was never pushed, manipulated, or expectations of meeting his timeline. I wouldn’t let it happen. I lived in the present, and never worried about the future.

I wonder how many of us loose our authentic to ourselves because of other people’s expectations. How badly do we desire to succeed at something that we fear failure, hope for future change, put ourselves last, and consistently second guess others? Where did we stop simply moving forward with our own lives, to only have it consumed as an extension of another?

To be authentic, a person must have personal goals and a desire to achieve them. Not aspire to coerce or manipulate another person’s life to fill our voids. We must be self-confident in who we are, with or without other individuals. To live everyday to the fullest, simple because we breathe. To figure out our own way home from the airport without demanding others to bend their lives around ours. To take responsibility for the career we choose and the path we move.

No one should loose being authenticity to benefit another. If the other individuals cannot accept your life as separate entity, ultimately they are not worth your time - they are asking you to loose all authentic.