Take a hint from “He’s Just Not That Into You!”

I am a big fan of the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You.” Primarily because I think everyone can learn a bit about personal boundaries and the right way to deal with those who suffocate us.

If you’ve watched the movie, you’re either going to be one of those people who think “OMG. I do that!” or “Ha ha. I know how it feels to have a nutcase call you too much!”. The entire premise of the movie is centered around a woman (stereotypical) who does not understand boundaries when it comes to communication. It’s the image of a girl who calls you repeatedly (excessively) and sets up “random” (staged) run ins at places her male interests hang out. In today;s culture, many guys tend to label woman “psycho” who display the behavior. The movie only depicts a clingy woman but in reality there are plenty of men who do the same thing.

The behavior is not psychotic (usually) but more contributed to individuals who are emotionally starved. They have surrounded themselves either with individuals who do not feed their emotional and social needs, thus seek out replacements. The clingy behavior is much like nature during a drought. People have been thirsty for emotional attention that they suck dry the first individuals who provide it. In return, those individuals are worn out, turned off, and down right sick and tired of hearing from you.

Regardless of the cause, the behavior is not acceptable (male or female). As humans we need to learn to deal with this behavior in a conductive way. If the movie character is a spitting image of you, realize the behavior needs to stop. Think about what drives you and at all costs (for god’s sake!), train your mind to stop it! Realize it is 100% non productive behavior. Frankly, it’s just NOT ok to be borderline stalker!

If you are the person whose been on the receiving end (much like myself), you need to learn to deal with the behavior in a direct but non hurtful approach. Speaking from experience, this is often hard to do if you often avoid confrontation versus seek it. Ignoring, wrong numbers, and being down right rude (movie portrayal) does not work. It only confuses and upsets the individuals. The best way (gulp and get some guts) is to be direct with the person. Simply stating the behavior is inhibiting your personal boundaries should work. At which point either the person will apologize and back off (feeling ashamed) or pursue more, at which point then you can label them a stalker.