Business

Road Trip!!!

It’s moving day which means a fun-filled 13 hr drive with trucker hats and three roadie dogs!
Quick three moving tips for you:

1) Except something(s) to go wrong: There has to be at least one meltdown which involves the “F” screamed through out the house. Relax and just expect it.

2) Gear: If you are ghetto enough to rent a UHaul, you have to have the proper gear. This equates to sexy trucker hats which say “Flatbedder’s Do It with Straps & Chains” WTF?!?!

3) Hotpads.com: If you are moving to a location you have never visited or lived, Hotpads.com rocks. You can search all the realtor MLS in one page. There is an option to sort by median age, per income capita, and off the wall things such as nearby public transportation.

It’s time for this Northern girl to head to the Dirty’Dirty South….you may want to pray for them.

Random Wonderings

Over the past few weeks, I have had quite a few random (extremely meaningless) questions on my mind. They’ve been a constantly hogging space in the back of my mind, so maybe offering them up for debate will get rid of them.

1) A woman who is overaggressive with phone calls, emails, and text messages to a male is considered “clingy or psycho.” A man who does the same to woman, is engaging in borderline “stalking”. In both scenarios, the individuals are consistent even though their communication is never returned by the other party. Then, what does society call a man who “stalks / overly clingy” with another man?
And where do people learn this behavior?

2) As humans we have lived an estimated 4.4 billion years on this earth (via evolution argument). Regardless of the anatomical fact that we AGE each year, most mother’s still feel compelled to be “amazed” at standard growth of life. Why do parents still exclaim “OMG! I can’t believe little Timmy is going to be 3 next week!!” Um, hello? Wouldn’t be more questionable and amazing if little Timmy actually aged backwards?

3) The act of marriage historically started out of economic means. Traditionally, man where the breadwinners/ hunters/ gatherers. While woman where child bearers and teachers of basic life skills. Since woman’s liberation, most notable 1970-80 and beyond, the need for marriage due to economic reasons has ceased. In fact, in the past several years, woman are now outnumbering men with college degrees. If we don’t rely on a single person entirely for economic means, what is the point of marriage? (regardless of your religious beliefs. Let’s not forget, Adam and Ever where never married)

So now their off my mind and onto yours. Have fun!

Easily Forgotten

While suctioned in an MRI tube, I had the pleasant opportunity to enjoy an old favorite band of mine, The Cranberries. Amazing how something we once loved so much is quickly shelved along side old dreams, events, and acquaintances in our memory.

Overcomplicating the brew cycle

There are all different kinds of coffee makers. There’s the simple pour and brew kind, then there’s the super complicated pod pressing, french pressing, takes scientific scale to measure optimal ground use kind. One is a simplified process. One concentrates on more involved process. As humans, we sometimes tend to overcomplicate even the simplest things. It comes down to choosing whether or not to make a process complicated.

Complicated Process Does Not Ensure Quality
Some people fall into the trap of over complicating simple tasks. For instance, everything in my closet in neatly hung and placed. Nothing is scattered, thrown, or disorganized. Oppositely, I keep all of my gym clothes tossed in a basket. Why? I see no sense in overcomplicating the washing and storing of clothes I wear quite often. The turnaround time on my yoga pants does not constitute the extra time hanging and folding them. Keep it simple: wear, wash, dry, toss. Some of my clothing is more expensive, worn on special occasions, and have a specific use. Due to their specific nature, I take more time in their washing and storage process.

As business processes, life, relationships, economy, etc. evolve, new and old processes change. Take a look at Twitter. In the beginning, it was a very simple process. Type 140 characters and that’s it. One button follow. One button send. Overtime, users have developed hundreds of apps which complicated the entire process. Some of which are incredible useful in order to sort through enormous amounts of data, users, etc. We’ve focused on how to manipulate a very simple communication tool to establish very complicated tasks and applications.

The more we overcomplicate our lives, whether it’s sending an invoice through three personnel before it hits the mailbox or brewing a cup of coffee, we waste precious time enjoying the results. To caveat, some individuals enjoy complicated processes. They thrive off controlling and understanding the inner-workings of every step.

I would venture to say, most of us want to live more simplistic. To wake up in the morning, enjoy a cup of coffee, and move on. We’ve been told the masses of technology is suppose to make our lives more simplistic. Smart phones give us autonomy from a laptop, Google replaces the Yellow Pages, riding lawn mowers versus push, endless edgers, hedgers, and automated poop scoops. The list goes on. We’ve technology laden every aspect of our lives. But does technology really simplify?

Instead of making our lives more simple, technology is overcomplicating everything. There’s no more Sunday strolls or quite neighborhoods. We check our email on vacations, take client phone calls on Saturday morning, not only mow but hedge, whack, and wash our lawn…all to end up running on the treadmill because we rode our lawnmower instead of pushing it. Google is the new yellow pages, which means every business is using numbers resources to get that SEO/SEM to the top page. It’s not simple, it’s complicated.

Eventually some of us will throw all the technology to the wind. Head out to Walden Pond with no networks, laptops, or hedgers. We will go back to using the library instead of Amazon. We will take long strolls for our health instead of the gym contorting machines. We will enjoy a cup of coffee with our friends at a local shop instead of Twittering in our pajamas. We will rise with the sun, bed to dusk, and live a very simple life. Focusing on the only thing technology has not overcomplicated the process.

Random Coffee Grounds

Random collection of thoughts from the past week, which only amount to a shot of espresso.

According to Twellow, anyone and anything can claim accomplishments. Even the Tweeter who states “self-taught lawyer” is listed under “Lawyers”.

The only aspect of life which is not further complicated by technology is love. Our mind complicates it enough.

Greatest Threat To Our World: Cul-De-Sacs!

Incredible video, and more information found at Worldchanging.com

Your Jingle Affects More Than Your Target Market

This afternoon, one of the neighborhood underage kids (6 yrs to be exact) ran up to inform me of the day’s breaking news.

“You won’t believe this!” screams the unemployed, underage, tax benefit sucking creature.
“What? You got a job?”
“No! They changed the “beep beep.com” commercial! I am so angry! They don’t even sing it!” Kid breaks into a semi-1990’s era dance while reciting “beep beep.com” jingle way too much.
“Wow. Call your senator kid.”

The point is, at age 6, this kid is obviously not BeepBeep.com’s target market. Way off. But the changes they made to their commercial (which oddly enough plays on Nickelodeon channel? How many 16yr olds watch Nickelodeon?) and it was noticed by an audience much more diverse then planned. When making changes to your brand’s identity, jingle, yoo-hoo, or whatever it maybe, be aware your current campaign may be more viral then you think.

Woof!!

I love to read, but end up squeezing it in here and there during the week. Recently, I picked up my first book centered on owners and their dogs. “Woof! Writers on Dogs” is great for those rare opportunities you get to read, but not enough time to dedicate to mulitple chapters.

One of my favorite sections is shared by author, Abigail Thomas:
“Lots of people in my somewhat leaky boat are on the lookout for a human companion. Not me. I have learned to love the inside of my own head. There isn’t much I’d rather say then think. Of course there is the rare bird with whom I am in sync, the odd person who can make me laugh my head off and with whom converstaion is not an imposition or a chore, but these people are few and far between. I can talk to them on the phone. I can invite them for coffee.

So where am I going with this? Probably back upstairs with the dogs. It is starting to rain. I have made my bed, and I want to lit in it (with the dogs)”

Ads that I like, and Ads I don’t get

I am not a marketing major or work in advertising. I am simply a consumer. There are advertisements I get, and ones I say “WTF?”.

WTF Advertisments

Cartoon animal that speak? A bunny or owl that uses air fresheners? WTF!

Advertisements I get

Anyone with a smartphone has had the “Oops! I dialed with my ass, lipstick, wallet, or thigh!” accident. I get the butt chops.

Getting past the bird shit

Have you ever been shit on by a bird? I have. Twice. Once as a toddler riding high upon my father’s shoulders and the other as child taking a bike ride with my father. Probably was a sign from God indicating my future with men meant getting shit on a lot.

Regardless, when a bird shits on you, it haults your current activities. I mean, who continues to walk around with shit on their head?

We all get bird shit someplace or sometime. It’s when you are working late into the night on a big project and all your toilets clog. Nature requires us to stop what we are doing and fix at least one of them! It’s when you are on vacation and you eat that really great entree at some exotic restaurant, only to end up with your ass glued to the toilet instead of the beach.

It’s those moments that interrupt our lives and we have no way of getting around them or ignoring them. They paralyze the moment. Or do they?

Sometimes the bird shit comes in flocks. Dumping on us little bits here and there until our entire surface is covered. How does one continue on without stopping to clean up?

You can ignore some of it. But it takes dedication and determination to ignore the smell, stains, and strange looks from neighbors. It’s ignoring all the little crap and really asking yourself which shit drops you have to deal with, and which ones you can let go.

Sometimes, a toilet can wait if the other one works (or you know how to dig a trench). A windshield wiper doesn’t need to be changed as long as you avoid driving in the rain. Emails can be ignored, if you really need a project done. China dishes can become disposable, if you decide washing them is just a waste of time.

If we stopped everytime for the little bird shits, we would never accomplish anything. We need to learn to stop and ask ourselves which item is most important. Then stop at nothing to accomplish it. Even if a flock of birds comes in to low-level strategic bombing raid. It’s just shit.