Leftovers
Social Media Blue Eyes Gone Red
“Anger is that powerful internal force that blows out the light of reason.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I came home from work today and realized I have been harboring a lot of anger inside. It wasn’t like I was calmly waiting for my evening coffee to be brewed that a light of insightfulness appeared. It was after I blew up at other’s around me. I was screaming at them to listen to what I was saying. Unfortunately, they where the ones who where listening.
Is Social Media a Scream Tunnel?
I have to believe, the beginnings of social media / blogging was a means for us to “let out our voices.” Rapidly, the space evolved to everyone speaking, more and more. Comments on blogs are rarely read or noticed. So what is the purpose? A false sense of our opinion being heard? Yet social media gurus still claim the purpose of social media is to share ideas. Sharing involves listening and speaking. Not just speaking.
There are numerous blogs who don’t even allow comments. Seth Godin wants you to voice your opinion on your own blog. What it yields is a group of independent thinkers talking and talking, but no interaction or listening. As a community, how are we to learn and thrive off each other if we fail to listen?
The deep dark truths of social media is you have to own the bigger megaphone and scream more often then your neighbor. Link building, networking, and all the false sense of “community” building with social media is only successful if you build your OWN community. A community that only listens to each other. Resembles more a cult than a community.
Social Media’s Impact on Society
I was taught by my father to have an independent voice. Often I find myself butting up against stereotypes, both being a blonde and female. The problem is, I can independantly think all I want, but it seems as no one cares to listen.
Starting on Monday, my day goes like this:
Clients refuse to listen to your advice, ignore the limitations of a contract, and just throw expectations at you to move mountains. Friends and lovers who provide unwanted advice with out regard to what YOU want. I can’t take anymore people telling me what my business “is”, what is “should be”, what I should “do”, what I should “want”, what I should “read”, what I should “think”, what social media should “be”, how to use social media the “right” way, the “wrong” way this, that, OMG JUST SHUT UP!
I am 100% for independent thinking but more so for the use of communication. Communication allows us to share information and ideas. It’s a two-way street, not a one way. The growth of social media, and “start your own blog”, is making us all speak independently of one another. What are the outcomes on society outside of social media?
If we are so used to being able to speak for 500 words without interruption on a blog, why would we interrupt our work process to communicate to another worker? We are so ingrained in just doing it our way, to stop and think about the effects on another would be abnormal. Where else are we doing this?
Are we slowly becoming deaf to one another? Is the constant push of your brand, your business, your blog, slowly making us into selfish thinkers? What about the guy in the cubicle next to you? What will be the impact of blogging on our children? Will they learn to read, comment, and listen to each other? Or will they just learn they can do and say whatever they want with no regard to anyone else because, well, that’s what everyone else does.
I found a recent blog post interesting on how social media is changing our expectations of work, accomplishments, and to-do lists. Below is a statement from the author:
“The problem is that language and grammar are both the form and the content of so much 21st century industry. We struggle to recognise the distinction between the means and the ends, the production method and the product. So we just keep on talking.”
If we keep on talking and never stop to listen, will our work days ever end? Will we hear our spouses? Will we hear our employer? Will we hear our children, and will they hear us?
Growing into silence
Our social relationships are limited, most of the time, to gossip and criticizing people’s behavior. This observation slowly pushed me to isolate from the so-called social life. My days pass by in solitude. - Ingmar Bergman
Lately, several independent, yet possible intersecting, topics have floated through my mind.
1) Transcendentalism
2) Purpose of blog comments
3) Speaking versus listening
One of my favorite books of all time is Thoreau’s Walden. There is an impossible number of times to which I could reread it and still never get bored with it. Thoreau and Emerson are two of the most famous trandentalist in American history. When writing Walden, Thoreau lived a life of increased solitude. Not quite a hermit, but he still maintained considerable distance from mass people and allowed for hours of reflection. Thoreau manifested his ideas primarily through thinking in solitude. In contrast, the constitution was developed through group conversation.
I would say there are two ways in which theories, ideas, and beliefs (in general) are developed in a person: in solitude reflection or group collaboration. Most of us use a combination of the two. You may attend a department meeting at work to collaborate on a project, but each person brings their individual perspective to the discussion.
Web 2.0, social media, social entrepreneurship, or whatever you may call it, is an extension of collaborative discussion. Or at least it’s suppose to be. Which brings me to my second question: what is the point of blog comments? Or Twitter comments?
Each blog, blogger, Tweeter, etc, has their own ‘goal’ behind engaging in social media. My own personal goal is to develop and foster deep, heated, and a bit controversial discussion. Some may use it as a diary, marketing, or gain social acceptance of their thoughts. There is supposed to be no single correct use.
Lately I have noticed the amount of ‘discussion’ on Twitter and blogs a bit lacking. First, blogs are becoming extremely redundant. How much about Twitter can you possible talk about? It’s a dead topic in my mind. Secondly, very few are introducing new topics or fostering deep conversation. What is the point of a comment that say ‘Great post!’ not once…but 5 times? Besides trying to show support or sucking up to the blogger in hopes to get your back scratch, is there any real thought to it? Where has this so called ‘conversation’ gone?
I rarely see disagreeing comments or comments that foster a discussion. It like no one wants to hear anyone else’s opinion - especially if it’s different. (oh god forbid!!!) The best website with really good comment conversation is Brazen Careerist. Probably due to the fact it’s a bunch of 20 somethings who just piss off everyone. 
But the great thing about these 20 somethings, is they discuss back. Over and over again. They want a discussion and they know how to foster one.
Thoreau and adversity to discussion lead me to my final thought : Silence. In my twenties, I thrived off conversation. Moving into my thirties, I initially missed it and tried to create some. Evidence is mounting for me to relinquish my voice, and speak very little. My 40’s and beyond will probably be complete silence. I am tired of the same old conversations, the diversion of real topics, and understand the cold reality of people really only want me to listen. Not speak.
So maybe I will build myself a little cabin on a lake. I am not a writer, nor ever wanted to be one, but I can paint. I suppose through my paintings, I am speaking…it will just take a bit more thought to decipher and understand than the average person will ever want to give.
What NOT to mention on your blog or Tweet!
Lately I have noticed a plethora of blogs providing suggestions for just about everything. Top ten ways to make your blog better, what acronyms to use on Twitter, and just today, Chris Brogan offer’s his advice on how not to market on Twitter.
Sometimes a blogger’s suggestions come off as being arrogant. Smart bloggers will caveat a bold statement by something like “Not all” or “Maybe”. Most bloggers just ignore this and pronounce their knowledge as king shit pin ( though a resume review would prove otherwise).
So wanting to jump in the fun, and show a bit of “arrogance” off..I have one simple request.
Do NOT mention Chipotle burritos in your blog, twitter feed, Facebook, or anywhere on the blogosphere.
My pants are snug, started a diet, and there is nothing more that could drive me crazy then thinking of a juicy, cheesy, lettuce, chicken, spicy burrito from Chipotle! It only took ONE heartless blogger to mention Chipotle to turn my mouth into an endless water fountain of drool. So give a gal a break…leave the burrito out of it. 
A Good Start For Monday
Sometimes, our perception is quite different then reality.
Our Own Tipping Point
We all reach points in our lives where we’ve just had enough. It’s time for a change.
We are all participants in our own tv show of life. We are the participants of The Biggest Loser, who have reached a tipping point that says “Something has got to change.” It might not be loosing weight, but it’s something in our lives that drag us down, burden our minds day in and day out - it’s the something that needs to change.
It’s American’s as a whole looking for a tipping point in Obama. It’s the worker who is tired of wrestling with the same workplace problems and becomes an entrepreneur. It’s the advertiser who pushes for brand placement on a new venue. It’s the ropes that tie you down to the same systematic thinking.
Snapping one day and brining us to build all the strength in the world to make change occur. Enough personal dedication and steam to power a whole city - It’s our own tipping point of change.
Veracious Moments
It’s the end of seven long days, to which several repeating moments helped concrete several truths I know:
1) Facebook is the friends you used to know, Twitter are for those you want to know better.
Repeating a Tweet, I find this to be very true. In the course of one week, I have been bothered by 10 friend requests on Facebook. It is an interruption since not one of these people actually “know me”. They are either friends of friends, or attended the same college, neither of which I constitute as substantial evidence to argue friend status. Twitter does allow me to stretch a hand out to those I don’t know but wish to suck their knowledge from.
2) Texting is NOT a conversation.
Email can be a great way to contact a potential client or prospect, but you will never be able to close the sale via email. You have to actually open your big fat mouth and SPEAK to the person, that is the only way to close the sale. Same with texting. There are people who understand texting is for quick drops of information, not full fledged conversations. The following is the lamest way to coax a conversation:
Text: how are you? Working from home?
Reply: Fine.
Text: What have you been up to? Hows work?
Reply: Great.
Text: Share some of the great?
*Phone turned off*
If I don’t reply to your text, it means the “conversation” is done. Get the hint.
3) Content is one thing, but connection is the key.
I will agree the outspoken self-declaration of cable repair men becoming SEO / social media experts over night, is getting old. There is a trend to which people are selling “knowledge” without any tangible service connected. You can go about anywhere and hear stories of companies paying thousands for SEO consultants to “tell” them what to do, but no doing with it. So, if SEO/SEM is bullshit, then your content is magically indexed right? Um, NO.
You can can create content all fucking day, night, week…but if you don’t use social media networks, (Twitter, cross-blogging, Digg, Stumble Upon, cross link, etc) your site will never really exists. So while “knowledge” workers may be a fading trend, there is an opportunity for real “workers” to put their thumb to the key board and do the grinding work for companies. I mean, how many CEO’s have time to spend all fucking day Twittering and run a company? (Besides social media CEO’s…hello…). There needs to be a balance, and those who offer a balance, can provide valuable service.
Cleaning Out The Closets
In the middle of a downward dog pose, I glanced over and noticed my basket of crochet yarn. It’s been sitting in the same place, barely touched, for two years now. I realized I’ve been keeping a lot of things I would like to “try” on my shelves and in my closet for years now. But, what’s the point?
I started to think about all the things I have in my life that exist simple because they are there. In reality, I will never finish a crochet blanket. Because after every jammed packed day, when I finally sit down at midnight, I turn to other things and not the crochet.
How much of our lives are filled with stuff that we never really either a) need b) care deeply about c) truly enjoy or d) far off to-do?
If we really sat down and looked around our homes, work, Netvibes page, we would probably find a lot of crap. Our time is our most precious thing, so why do we waste so much of it on meaningless crap? Right now, I can’t cram another thing into my life and desperately need to start streamlining what is already there.
Running through everything from blogs I read, books on the shelves, old address books, etc, I realized I can really live without 90% of it. So this spring when I take part in the neighborhood garage sale (ugh!), I will sell almost everything I own. I know what I enjoy, need, and choose to spend my precious time on….this spring everything else will go.
OMG! Can’t Get Enough Of Durex Ad
Wow. Don’t know what Durex was thinking…Does using inanimate objects give this a “G” Rating?
Differences Of Opinion
A favorite blog of mine recently posted a good video on thinking differently. It came at the same time I started to notice how many of much of the news Tweeted was redundant. We are lucky enough in America to have a variety of news sources, from conservative to liberal and even the not chartable. Regardless of your views, it’s important to get information from a variety of sources to help formulate a deeper understanding of situations. This is especially important when it comes to politics and world news.
I tend to stay away from international news, simply because my viewpoints have been crafted differently than most. With the Obama taking office in just a few days, the new President will have a very difficult task of rebuilding American economy while avoiding deep set isolationism. As American’s, on the best things we can do is be knowledgeable on both domestic and international news. When it comes to issues such as the fighting in Gaza, north Korea, Africa and South America, most of what occurs today spawns from thousands of years of historical content. It would take years for someone to study and fully understand simply one country’s behavior.
Since most of us don’t have years to dedicate to being an expert at a country or region, we do have the time to seek out multiple viewpoints. Sometimes it’s thinking about the situation a bit differently that can make all the nonsense, make sense.
Here’s some of the news sources I use:
BBC
Reuters
Al Jazeera
Kyodo News
CNN
Jane’s Defense Weekly
Foreign Affairs
Huffington Post
I have to give props to the Huffington Post. The reporter made a keen observation with their version of reporting on the emergency meeting that included Iran, Syria, and heads of a Islamic Jihad’s group. Both the Washington Post and CNN failed to include one of the most interesting pieces of information.
Being Positive During Blizzard Conditions
If you ever experience a blizzard then you know there are two options in dealing with the conditions: 1) accept the conditions and shovel the snow over and over again. 2) Sit in a heated house and just watch the snow build, crying and whining when you can’t get out of your house.
We all get blizzard conditions during our life. It’s when we get an extra load of “to-do” on top of the daily maintenance stuff. We can’t change the fact that life is sometimes harder, but we can control how we deal with it.
Recently a friend of mine gave birth to her second child. She has her mother, husband, and mother-in-law all there to help her in the first few weeks. On a recent conversation with her, in her tired voice she just kept mentioning how tired everyone is. The round the clock feeding schedule was broken down into teams, playing havoc with everyone’s energy level.
My friend made sure to express her gratitude for being lucky enough to have family around to help. She understands that when I gave birth to my only offspring, my situation was drastically different. I was lucky to give birth million miles away from family and friends, in a foreign country, all alone. During the c-section birth and for 6 weeks afterwards, I was the only source of care for myself and my child. I understand how tiresome feeding every 2 hours can be.
The difference in scenarios doesn’t make me “stronger” person. I know if she was in the same position, her internal instinct of survival would kick in. It’s inside every one of us. When there is no one else to rely on, we can accept life’s responsibility and conquer. It’s the choice between keeping positive or letting life drag you down.
There are times in life that I wish I had someone else to split duties with, just like an entrepreneur starting off. Most entrepreneurs aren’t lucky enough to have a sales person on staff to do the dreadful cold-calling, or accountant to figure out the cryptic IRS statements. All successful entrepreneurs just do the extra duties in stride. They do so because they look at the big picture. It doesn’t matter who does the billing, it has to be done. Just do it.
As companies and humans, evolve to encompass more than one person in our circle of life, do we start to become over reliant on others? How often do we focus on what other’s aren’t accomplishing to help us, rather then taking ownership of our lives and just doing it. In the bitter cold of winter, I wish I had someone to fill my gas tank for me. I dread standing out on the cold air pumping gas. The reality is, I have yet to train my dog on how to drive or pump gas. Until I can, it’s either I accept it as something I just have to do (regardless of how cold or hot it is) or I have no transportation.
Surely if I had someone else to rely on, I would want them to take care of it for me. At what point does my life responsibilities become the responsibilities of others? Really, never. Simply because you have someone else to lean on, doesn’t make it their responsibility to rise to the occasion every time. It’s ok to stand on your own and keep positive. In reality, the little blizzards of our lives are easily conquerable - you just have to keep positive.
