Trimming the Fat Off Christmas

It’s two days before Christmas, the most celebrated holiday centered around joy and giving. In the past years, I’ve noticed one of favorite holidays get filled with unnecessary fat. Fat is the holiday crap of stressing out over the perfect gift, fighting the post office crowd, and making a gazillion phone calls. This year, I am trimming my fat out of Christmas.

I can’t say it’s been an easy task to push out the fat especially when three days before I get stricken with the stomach flu and my car’s check engine light on. Sucking it up, I still pressed forward 5 pounds lighter into work the next day and placing a reindeer sticker over my dashboard’s light to only drive with hopes it lasts through the holiday. Last week ended with overwhelming phone calls from friends who needed an ear to whine too, but are always unavailable when I need one. Here it is, two days before Christmas and the fat needs to go.
My Fat Removal Process:
1. Don’t answer the phone. All my family is out of town, which means my Christmas will get filled with redundant sounds of my telephone. Fuck it, I unplugged it.

2. Only answer good emails. Not answering any work related, shit filled, whiny all about me emails from friends, family or coworkers. Send me a dancing naked reindeer, and I might consider reading it.

3. Embrace solitude. Phycologist define the difference between solitude and loneliness as the following: Solitude is the personal choice to be alone. Loneliness is the feeling of being deserted and displaced by society. For several years I lived overseas, allowing my holidays to free of “family” obligations. Since returning three years ago, my holidays have been wasting gas on witnessing family feuds, smelly kids, and redneck cross bread cousins. Not this year, for I am staying at home and in my jammies for two days straight. The only one who will smell, is me.

4. Christmas take-out. If my stomach flu lets up, my Christmas dinner will be…take out. Hopefully cheap Chinese, with the back up plan of grilled cheese sandwiches.

Christmas is suppose to be a time of relaxation, celebrating ones religious beliefs, and enjoying the company of loved ones. My suggestion for everyone, is to trim the fat off your Christmas this year. Snub the arguments, save the stress for a real reason, love is not measured in gifts, and realize the Twitter world will live without your presence for one day.

Have a Merry Christmas.